i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
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