we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize