omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
