Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
