come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
