she was so not down for the gang bang
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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