great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
