if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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