Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize