I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
