I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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