Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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