Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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