8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
