Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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