Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
