Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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