Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize