At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
