Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize