dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
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I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
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I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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