i used baking grease as lip gloss
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
