There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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