my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
