I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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