just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
