did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
