Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
