i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
