Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize