At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
When are your genitals available?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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