i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
