If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize