Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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