oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
