Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
