yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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