i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
