She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize