Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.