i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.