GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
