so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize