Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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