Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
