dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
