I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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