I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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