I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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