I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
