woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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