I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
