woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize