we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
