Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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