You can't motorboat a personality
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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