not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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