Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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