Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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