I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
